![Teri Seymour](http://img175.imageshack.us/img175/1940/postimage1228teriseymouyt7.jpg)
My original headline for this post was “Simon Cowell attacked by rogue Ethopian.” Then I did some investigative journalism and learned that it’s actually Simon’s fiancé British TV personality Teri Seymour. The couple are on vacation in Barbados for the holiday. I can understand why he keeps her around. She seems handy. Simon could always use Teri as a walking stick if he were on a long hike. Or, I dunno, maybe as a karate staff if he wanted to fight crime or play Ninja Turtles with Ryan Seacrest who always wants to be “Naked Shredder.”
![Teri Seymour](http://img170.imageshack.us/img170/9199/14579867ru9.jpg)
![Teri Seymour](http://img296.imageshack.us/img296/8420/67588780dl0.jpg)
![Teri Seymour](http://img296.imageshack.us/img296/8443/45391482ez1.jpg)
![Teri Seymour](http://img225.imageshack.us/img225/4849/21050302qk1.jpg)
![Teri Seymour](http://img183.imageshack.us/img183/7638/29721540nz3.jpg)
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