Friday, January 18, 2008

Lindsay Lohan headed to the morgue

 Lindsay Lohan headed to the morgue

Lindsay Lohan will be working in a morgue as part of her punishment for misdemeanor drunken driving. Lindsay’s lawyer outlined the plans for her current program yesterday, according to the Associated Press:

Her two four-hour days at the morgue are part of a court-ordered program to show drivers the real-life consequences of drinking and driving. She must also spend two days working in a hospital emergency room.

Okay, the morgue I can understand. Those people are already dead, so there’s no real sense of urgency. The ER on the other hand, I dunno. I think Lindsay will be more of a distraction: “Quick, get this man 20 cc’s of, uh, breasts. No, wait, that’s not right. 20 cc’s of, uh, round luscious cleavage! Sonofa—Miss Lohan, could you please stop leaning over the patients with your human defibrillator pads? Hey, wait, this guy’s heart started beating…”

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