I've never thought about ending my own life. I mean I've thought of it, but not because I'd actually consider doing it. I've tried to wrap my head around what it would take for me to actually end my life, but I just can't.
I'm not a psychiatrist, but I don't think anyone purposefully takes their own life who is not mentally ill or imbalanced. Anyone who has serious suicidal thoughts needs to get help as soon as possible. Just like a women who feels a lump in her breast wouldn't ignore it, a person who thinks of taking his/her own life needs to see a trained professional immediately. It is a mental illness/disease that cannot be ignored; it can be fatal just like cancer or AIDS.
So I've never thought about taking my life, but that's not to say I've never been depressed.
The hardest time for me was moving to the "big city" from the tiny town I'd lived in before. I knew no one and I was 13, the age where one needs to feel accepted most. I was teased for my appearance, shunned, and had never felt so low. I was ridiculously lonely; every weekend I'd try to think of things to do to keep the boredom of not having any friends from killing me. I hated lunch at school because it meant I would have to walk around the school looking for people to talk to until the bell rang for afternoon classes. Luckily by the middle of the year, a new student started in my class, and I immediately made friends with her. She was British, and my parents are too, so I felt really close to her and we got along really well. And after that we started making more friends together, and soon I belonged to a group that I felt comfortable in. But I'll still never forget those dark days of loneliness. They changed who I was forever.
You never know who your kindness will change
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