Bookshelf: "The Rules According to J-Woww"

{Sorry for the crappy pic}

I recently picked up "The Rules According to J-Woww". (insert snickers here). As you know, I embarrassingly love Jersey Shore, so I thought it would be a fun read and good for a few laughs if nothing else.

Let me tell you first and foremost why I watch Jersey Shore: to laugh! They are the modern day comedic sitcom, only they aren't acting, which makes it all the better.

J-Woww's book is actually good; so good I read it in less than two days. Of course it's good for the same reason Jersey Shore is - it's ridiculous. But entertaining! I don't take her "advice" to heart,  but it was highly enjoyable reading what she had to say.

BONUS! The reverse side of the book jacket doubles as a poster of the lovely Miss herself, in a purple dress holding a giant bunch of romantic red roses. AWWWWW .... (stabs eye with fork).

In her book you'll learn how to:

 * Walk, talk, and look like a true Guidette

* Land the perfect Guido ... and keep him in his place!

* Cook a mean Italian dinner

* Mix drinks that'll knock Sailors off their own feet

* Make his body tingle all over

* Dress Like a whor-I mean, sexy vixen!

The most laughable section was her chapter on fashion. But I DID like that she said she doesn't give a crap what people say about her, what worst dressed page she ends up on, etc. She dresses for herself which I kinda respect, as ugly and stripper esque as that might be.

Her perfect outfit is a mini with boob maximizing tube top. "Keep all your accessories [earrings, purse, shoes] in the same color category so you don't look trashy" she dutifully advises.

There were also some blatant contradictions here and there. In her "Dating" chapter she proudly proclaims she "NEVER goes home with a guy she just met at the club to smush." She ain't that kind of guidette! .... In the very next chapter she lists her purse necessities for the bar with "condoms - you never know!" making the top of said list. Who edited this work is what I want to know!

I also can't forget the name dropping of her "fabulous plastic surgeon", or her helpful mention of where on the east coast she gets her eyebrows permanently inked on.

Silliness aside, she penned a highly enjoyable book; and her ridiculous advice is sending her straight to the bank. So would I recommend?

YES

I give this book 5/5 stars and would DEFINITELY recommend you get it as a funny light read for the beach, gym, etc .... Just make sure you hide it inside the Financial Times or something else equally intelligent looking; save yourself the snickers this post will inevitably generate.

Have you read this book?

Bookshelf: Kardashian Konfidential

{I swear I must buy at least a book a week }

Here is the latest:

Kardashian Konfidential.

I'll be the first to admit I'm the biggest sheep when it comes to American pop-culture. I just can't help getting engrossed in such frivoloty as Jersey Shore, L.A. Candy, Keeping Up with the Kardashians, etc. Ke$ha and Katy Perry are my idols! I feel like a preteen at times, but c'est la vie .. Ryan laughs at me =)

Here are some pics from the book. I love it so far! So interesting! =)

{Still learning how to focus my camera :S.}

I love reading about these girls. Their family life, and growing up rich in Beverly Hills just intrigues me! I don't know why, but I've always been obsessed with California and Beverly Hills, probably because I've never been! =)

So ya, I'm really entertained by this family. I really like Khloe. (haha, because I know her so well.)But she's super funny and seems real, and I actually think she's really pretty too! She has this part in the book where she talks about how she always felt like "the ugly duckling" and that being sister's with Kourtney and Kim was so hard, because they were so pretty and no one believed that she was related to them. Awww!!

Yesterday I was on Amazon and also ordered Season 3 of Keeping Up With the Kardashians. It's older but oh well =P.

Do you like Kim K and her "sistahs"?

Or not?

What Would Audrey Do? My Weekend Ritual!

The ingredients of my Friday night ritual are:

*A Girly Book

*A Glass of Merlot

*LUSH

Have you guessed what the ritual is?

Why, a relaxing bath of course =)

Here are my most recent purchases being put towards my ritual.

What Would Audrey Do?

I prefer light, airy, non-fiction girly books to help me unwind after a long work week. Nothing too heavy .. I save that for the finance and law courses I'm currently sweating over during the week. As soon the tap starts running, I prefer to put my mind on auto pilot and enjoy a light and frivolous, (funny) read.

I bought this $20 paperback and Cinderella bookmark from Chapters last week, and it's fitting the bill nicely.

Topcis written about include Audrey's career, early life, STYLE, and romantic life.

{Pics from the book}





The Second Ingredient: LUSH

LUSH is my fave bath product to use because they have bombs, melts, and bubble bars, and they make my skin super soft. Although lately it has been fun creating my own bath products and testing them out. My most recent Lush purchases:

Candy Cane Bubble Bar:

Snow Globe Lemon Grass Soap:
{Smells like, well, Lemons}

Karma Soap:

{My favorite scent of all time}

And last but not least, the glass of Merlot. (and almost always a candle)

What do you do to unwind?

Book Recomendation

The Ascent Of Money

I recently bought this book and haven't even finished half of it yet, but I already need to recomend it.

Bread, cash, dosh, dough, loot, lucre, moolah, readies, the wherewithal: Call it what you like, it matters. To Christians, love of it is the root of all evil. To generals, it's the sinews of war. To revolutionaries, it's the chains of labor. But in The Ascent of Money, Niall Ferguson shows that finance is in fact the foundation of human progress. What's more, he reveals financial history as the essential backstory behind all history.
Through Ferguson's expert lens familiar historical landmarks appear in a new and sharper financial focus. Suddenly, the civilization of the Renaissance looks very different: a boom in the market for art and architecture made possible when Italian bankers adopted Arabic mathematics. The rise of the Dutch republic is reinterpreted as the triumph of the world's first modern bond market over insolvent Habsburg absolutism. And the origins of the French Revolution are traced back to a stock market bubble caused by a convicted Scot murderer.
With the clarity and verve for which he is known, Ferguson elucidates key financial institutions and concepts by showing where they came from. What is money? What do banks do? What's the difference between a stock and a bond? Why buy insurance or real estate? And what exactly does a hedge fund do?
This is history for the present. Ferguson travels to post-Katrina New Orleans to ask why the free market can't provide adequate protection against catastrophe. He delves into the origins of the subprime mortgage crisis.
Perhaps most important, The Ascent of Money documents how a new financial revolution is propelling the world's biggest countries, India and China, from poverty to wealth in the space of a single generation--an economic transformation unprecedented in human history.
Yet the central lesson of the financial history is that sooner or later every bubble bursts--sooner or later the bearish sellers outnumber the bullish buyers, sooner or later greed flips into fear. And that's why, whether you're scraping by or rolling in it, there's never been a better time to understand the ascent of money.

I couldn't put it down, last weekend. Even if you have absoulutely no interest in finance (I'm not huge into it) I think it can offer interest to everyone.

****

My soapmaking book also came in the mail today!

I got it delivered to my office from Amazon, in what must have been the fastest international order ever. I ordered it on Monday and wasn't expecting it til late next week, but our work's delivery guy dropped it on my desk this morning @ 10am. What a nice surprise!

I've recently beccome really interested in homemade bath & body products and am wanting to learn as much as I can=) So I figured this classic soapmaking book would be a good place to start. Last weekend I whipped up some home made body lotion with all natural ingredients from a local supplier, and it turned out sooo softening and yummy smelling! I also got ingredients to make four bath bombs, we'll see how that goes this weekend.

A Little Mid Week Shopping

Hola Dolls!

As it usually does, a shopping craving crept over me unannounced today. Nothing too serious, don't worry. I got some BOOKS! This first one below I've been anticipating for a long time. It's not released until Oct. 5 ... so I preordered on Amazon!

Lauren Conrad's thrid book in her impossible to put down LA CANDY series=) I've been waiting for a year for this, so super excited for it to come in the mail in a few weeks.

Amazon is great at twisting book lovers arms. If you bought her second book along with the first one, you got free shipping! I got both of these books for $20 which is outstanding! (hardcover)

On my lunch I made my way down to HMV. I was wondering if Tiesto had a new cd out, 'cause I heard a very Tiestoish song yesterday on the radio. Like I said, I still buy cds, but only if I love the artist enough to not download it. Well he doesn't have one out, but I bought Armin's newer cd instead. I loved his last cd Imagine, so hopefully this one is good!

I'm checking out the new wing of Chinook Centre this Friday on my day off - super excited!!!!

Ta =)

An English Rose

{Happy Mother's Day}

The rose I got today from the restaurant we took my mom inspired me to take some pictures. I love flowers.


****


After we went to the Chapters and of course I got two new books. I'm really getting addicted to buying books, so I need to slow it down a bit and actually start reading some of them before buying them. It's funny, I'm a Capricorn, and one of their known traits is a weakness for books. I guess I am true to the sign.

I bought "Getting the Pretty Back" by actress Molly Ringwald. It's a light and airy, girly non-fiction. Its looks like a fun read that I can enjoy with a glass of wine=) (always tee hee)

I also got the book that started it all .. Yep, the original Sex and the City by Candace Bushnell. It was on sale for $5, and I thought it would be fun to really see how it all began.

Now I have to stop buying books and start reading the ones I already have. I have three on the go right now: Shopoholic Ties The Knot, The Carrie Diaries, and this one - plus I bought Twenties Girl the other week and haven't opened it ...

Hope your Sunday was Fabulous

L.A. Candy

I love L.C. Books!

****

I read the first two in less than a week.

I picked up L.A. Candy at a drugstore one day out of boredom, expecting it to be mediocre at best. A few chapters later my mind had completely changed! LC's actually a really talented writer, and her character/story development are impressive for a young lady "dabbling" in novel writing!.

I baught Sweet Little Lies the day after I finished the first book, and liked it even more!

I can't wait for the third book=), but I have no idea when it's coming out. My guess would be summer?

All I know is it's called Sugar and Spice.

Out of all the characters, I'm most intrigued by Madison, the spoiled rich villian, even though she's evil. (Aren't we always the most enthralled with the villian?) I can't wait to see what her big secret is in the third book. Whenever I'm reading the Candy books, I can't help but equate Madison to Heidi Montag.

{Eek, she's already resembling Joan Rivers}

Apparently the Candy books got picked up for a three part movie, and I can't wait!!

Speaking of movies I can't wait to see ...

Aren't You Getting Excited?

Carrie Would Be Proud ...

I know I said I was trying to cut down my shopping but these were both ON SALE!! (Who am I kidding? They're always on sale.)

I bought The Carrie Diaries! & I'm so excited to start reading it. It's from when Carrie was a teenager in high school .. it's going to be FAB. Anyone read it yet?

What better item to buy along with a book about Carrie Bradshaw than a nice pair of shoes. They aren't Blahniks, (sp?) but good enough!!! I'd seen these Guess flats at Winners and still thought they were ridiculously over priced at $70. (For being at Winners I mean. I'm not opposed to high price shoes, but not at a discount store).

Anywhoo, they weren't $70 this Sunday my friends!!!

I was quite happy =)

Why I Gave Up On Twilight

I didn't think it would happen.

I got to page 351 on the third book in the Twilight saga, Eclipse, and suddenly closed it. Not because I was tired, not because I had an errand to run, not because the front door opened with my fiancee returning home. I closed it because I had had enough of the story. Period.

I'd reached a point where I thought, no way. There is no way this is worth it. Even for a fantasy book, the story line was unbelievable, (and not the good unbelievable). I was simply unable to believe in the characters or story line anymore.

Now this isn't meant to be a hate post. I'm not criticising Stephanie Meyer, or the legions of Twilight fans out there. But I do want to point out the things that ruined it for me:

1. I got to a point where I wondered why these super humans (Jacob and Edward) would be so inclined to fight for such an average, mediocre girl like Bella. I know that's the main appeal to the whole story, that such an average, mediocre girl was able to ensnare Edward, but still. There reaches a point where the fighting has to stop due to the sheer mediocrity of the subject, or plausibility is lost. Edward is over 100 years old, and has the mental capacity of said age, yet he is still gaga over this 17 year old little girl with no outstanding personality traits. Is it just me or could that be construed as slightly pervy? Also for Victoria and all of the vampires to make this huge deal/start a war over Bella, who they could have easily killed in so many parts of the book. There were too many contradictions and I couldn't keep suspending my belief. Believe me, I tried.. Maybe if Bella's character had been developed more? Nah, still not, is my guess.

2.I got sick of the forbidden teenage love aspect and thought it was, for lack of a better word, stupid.. ( I'll admit I'm probably past that expiration date though)

The third, most important reason I decided to put the series away forever was:

3. The movie. After watching both of the movies, I started envisioning the actors as I read the book and equating the characters to them. Not good because:

-The movie was the worst piece of film I have ever seen in my life.

- Kristen Stewart is the. worst. actress. in. the. history. of. the. planet. (Attractive,yes; great style, yes; talent, HELL NO). She has absolutely no facial expression other than overly fluttered eyelashes and darting eyes back and forth. Her voice is also painfully monotone and she honestly comes off completely stoned to me throughout the entire movie. I think she is afraid of over acting and that's why she resorts to this half-dead state of theatrics. Nevertheless, it annoys me to no end.

-The fanfare and frenzy surrounding "R.Patz" killed Edward Cullen's character in the novel because I felt he was inaccessible.

Obviously I am in the minority here, with giving up on Twilight; it's a world wide phenomenon after all. I'm just stumped as to how such a truly mediocre story and movie have become so huge. Is it the bandwagon mentality? I gave this saga an honest try (read two and a half of the books) and still was left very disappointed.

Tell me, Did you fall in love with Twilight?

Why or Why not?

Just Me =)

Random Moi

*I'm a Capricorn thru&thru. I'm hardworking, $$ conscious, moody, and have a very odd sense of humour. I also LOVE being alone. I still adore my friends, family, & love though, and always put them first!
*I can't walk into a drug/department store without looking at ALL the make-up before getting what I really came in for



* I have my esthetics licence but make-up/beauty is just a hobby for me. I found the best way learn the "art" was to teach myself with books & experimenting.

*I'm taking business in school right now which I LOVE. I work in a huge corporate atmosphere presently, but my dream is to work from a lap top at home, in my pjs, for myself =)

*I love anything cute, delicate or girly ... like these adorable cupcakes!

*I love featherlight, girlie non-fiction books with lots of senseless drama. L.A. Candy by Lauren Conrad is my current obsession.

Books on My Wishlisht:

I LOVE .....

Bubblebaths & Wine & Flowers & Nighties

Pink Champagne

Pretty Perfume

***