Thursday, March 10, 2011

Bookshelf: "The Rules According to J-Woww"

{Sorry for the crappy pic}

I recently picked up "The Rules According to J-Woww". (insert snickers here). As you know, I embarrassingly love Jersey Shore, so I thought it would be a fun read and good for a few laughs if nothing else.
Let me tell you first and foremost why I watch Jersey Shore: to laugh! They are the modern day comedic sitcom, only they aren't acting, which makes it all the better.
J-Woww's book is actually good; so good I read it in less than two days. Of course it's good for the same reason Jersey Shore is - it's ridiculous. But entertaining! I don't take her "advice" to heart,  but it was highly enjoyable reading what she had to say.
BONUS! The reverse side of the book jacket doubles as a poster of the lovely Miss herself, in a purple dress holding a giant bunch of romantic red roses. AWWWWW .... (stabs eye with fork).

In her book you'll learn how to:

 * Walk, talk, and look like a true Guidette
* Land the perfect Guido ... and keep him in his place!
* Cook a mean Italian dinner
* Mix drinks that'll knock Sailors off their own feet
* Make his body tingle all over
* Dress Like a whor-I mean, sexy vixen!


The most laughable section was her chapter on fashion. But I DID like that she said she doesn't give a crap what people say about her, what worst dressed page she ends up on, etc. She dresses for herself which I kinda respect, as ugly and stripper esque as that might be.

Her perfect outfit is a mini with boob maximizing tube top. "Keep all your accessories [earrings, purse, shoes] in the same color category so you don't look trashy" she dutifully advises.

There were also some blatant contradictions here and there. In her "Dating" chapter she proudly proclaims she "NEVER goes home with a guy she just met at the club to smush." She ain't that kind of guidette! .... In the very next chapter she lists her purse necessities for the bar with "condoms - you never know!" making the top of said list. Who edited this work is what I want to know!

I also can't forget the name dropping of her "fabulous plastic surgeon", or her helpful mention of where on the east coast she gets her eyebrows permanently inked on.

Silliness aside, she penned a highly enjoyable book; and her ridiculous advice is sending her straight to the bank. So would I recommend?
YES
I give this book 5/5 stars and would DEFINITELY recommend you get it as a funny light read for the beach, gym, etc .... Just make sure you hide it inside the Financial Times or something else equally intelligent looking; save yourself the snickers this post will inevitably generate.



Have you read this book?

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